Him

Okay everyone, I know it’s been awhile since my last post. I have been extremely busy working and going to school and it’s  been really exhausting. But I wanted to at least post my latest non-fiction piece for you guys. I turned it in to my teacher but he does not like the mystery in the piece. What do you guys think?

The car door slams behind me as I throw my purse and an apron on the passenger side. Late, as usual. Nothing to worry about, they’re used to it by now. I start up the jeep and a ringing noise plays its ill-fated melody, strong and irritating, reminding the driver that a car payment will be due in just a few days. He smiles at the threat. We turn out onto the street, careful not to hit the cars parked along both sides of the road. It’s a typical workday, cars tracking along as they begrudgingly make their way to work once again. Our drive is short, less than 10 minutes.

My hands start sweating and I wipe them on my apron, trying to ignore him and his constant berating of everything I do. Everything I do is never good enough for him. I focus on the road, trying to ignore him still. As we turn onto Rosewood,my heart begins feeling jittery, jumping up and down at a rate that makes my head spin. I look around and try to find a distraction, anything to drown out his intentional aggravation. There’s a man walking his dog; the dog fighting him with every step, determined to forge his own path. He doesn’t want to serve a master, and neither do I. I fight his commands with everything in me but yet he always seems to control it all, even this, my simple ride to work. The sun beats down, a expected humid Carolina summer day, but I feel hotter than I should with the air conditioning on full blast. Sweat pours down the back of my neck, sending icy chills through me as the air hits the moisture on my skin. He laughs at me as I try to keep my mind on the road…on the day ahead…on the opportunity for making money…really anything, anything to distract myself from him.

I pass the little Indian gas station and think briefly about getting a snack, but the idea is dismissed as quickly as it came. He says no, and he always has to be in control. “How can you go in to the store like that?”, he asks pointedly. “You’re clearly having a mental breakdown of some sorts. They’ll laugh at you, you know that”. And I believe him, like I always do. I’m already

late anyway. The restaurant is only a couple blocks up; I can see it coming up now. It’s so close but I’m having trouble focusing, remembering which parking lot I need to park in, and which spot is allowed, and if I should park in shade or sun, or the front or the back? Does it matter? Everything feels heavy and I can’t focus. He is on a roll now and he won’t shut up. I tell him to shut up but he just talks over me.

I pull in to a space, just a random space, because my heart is beating so hard that I’m sure I shouldn’t be driving. I turn off the car and sit there, frozen. I’ll need more time before I go in, if I make it in at all. He might not let me, because all he wants to do is control me, and cause me pain. And I let him. I can never get away from him. He’s the landlord that is constantly asking you for more rent. He’s the teacher who thinks you have nothing but time and loads you up with so many assignments you don’t have time to sleep or think about anything else. He’s the roommate who needs to borrow everything under the sun but never returns the favor. And he’s the abusive boyfriend who won’t let you out of his sight. He’s the monster you were sure was under your bed when you were five years old and couldn’t sleep at night because you were so terrified of what would happen once you fell asleep. He’s anxiety and he’s never going away.

Basically, he thinks I should either make anxiety a extremely fictionalized character throughout the piece letting readers know he is fictional or take out the personification completely. But I really like it the way it is, but perhaps just tweak it a bit here and there. Please give your honest opinion and post in the comments. I really would love the feedback!

Ipsy Product Review-BeFine Exfoliating Cleanser

I have been an on-again, off-again Ipsy subscriber for about 2 years now and I’m overall a fan of this subscription service. I’m a very busy person, and I don’t have the time or patience to sort through a bunch of beauty products in order to find what works for me and my budget. I have a few companies that I tend to cling to (because they are AMAZING) but every once in awhile, I like to see if there is anything out there that is even better than what I currently use. Ipsy allows me to sample products that are relevant to me and get a percentage off products that I like, for only $10 a month. Plus I get a makeup bag and they are ALWAYS cute and good quality.

If you would like to subscribe to Ipsy, please follow this link:

https://www.ipsy.com/new?cid=ppage_ref&sid=link&refer=akdz

In my September Glam Bag, I received 5 samples of products. One of them, was the BeFine Exfoliating Cleanser. It’s a vegan, cruelty-free, product made with all natural ingredients.
20160927_162030-1This particular one features brown sugar, oatmeal, and almonds. It smells like a airy almond extract. I washed my face with a  everyday cleanser before using it, to take off all the makeup from my day. When I applied it, the product went on very smooth, and it foamed as I made circular motions on my face. I really liked how natural it felt compared to all those harsh smelling and harsh feeling exfoliants with micro-beads, which apparently companies are no longer supposed to be using. Once my face was dry, it felt very open and smooth. I felt like a lot of buildup was taken off but my skin wasn’t red or irritated. After sleeping on it, I examined my face in the morning and it looked clearer and more radiant than the day before. I applied a light moisturizer and let that sink into my skin for an hour before I put on my makeup. I absolutely love the way it made my skin feel before and after using makeup. I definitely suggest buying this product, especially for use during stress breakouts. (ie EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE) =)

You can buy it here for only $24 dollars: http://befine.com/shopexd.asp?id=3

 

Fall is finally here, at least according to the calendar.

I remember the days when I used to cluelessly claim that Summer was my favorite season. All I wanted was the beach, no school, no responsibilities, refreshing drinks, and shorts and flip-flops for days. Now that I’m 25, I still have this annoying thing called “work” in the Summer, so it’s lost a lot of its appeal.  My new favorite time of year has definitely become Fall. I can wear boots and leggings, eat pumpkin and apple everything, and be the perfect combination of not-to-hot-not-to-cold at all times. It’s perfect and I’m embracing it, even if its still 80 during the day.

I baked some really yummy gluten-free muffins the other afternoon to bring to work and share with my coworkers. You can find the link from averiecooks at the end of this post. I used her recipe, but next time I will likely add less chocolate chips (about a half cup) and more pumpkin (about 2/3 cup). I will say the cook time is a bit iffy. My oven personally took 27 minutes to bake completely.

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Oatmeal Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

1 large egg
2/3 cup pumpkin puree
1/2 cup milk or coconut almond milk
1/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup maple or pancake syrup
1/4 cup canola or vegetable oil
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
3 cups old-fashioned whole rolled oats
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 cup semi-sweet mini chocolate chips

 

Mix the first 9 Ingredients until well blended. Stir in oats and baking powder and then finally, chocolate chips. Fill 11 muffin cups after greasing, mostly all the way full. Then bake at 350F for anywhere from 23-30 minutes. Muffins done when toothpick stuck in center comes out clean!

Original: http://www.averiecooks.com/2014/11/oatmeal-to-go-pumpkin-chocolate-chip-muffins.html

Everyone really seemed to like them and I thought they were a perfect, healthyish fall treat!

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7 or 8 Things I know About Him

This is a creative writing piece, modeled off of the poem by Michael Ondaatje. It was an assignment, but I really enjoyed writing it and I’m quite happy with the results. Keep in mind that this is a cross between a poem and a flash fiction piece. It is supposed to be like someone took out excerpts from a book and put them together.




 

7 or 9 Things I know About Him (A Stolen Biography) by Lizzie Thornton

Crash

His dad was found in a crushed up old Toyota that he’d run into a the side of a shed. There were 2 half-full bottles of liquor on the floorboard and dozens of empty ones scattered around the car. He went to the funeral with his mom and her two black eyes. There were about 9 people there and no one cried.

The Tryouts

In a small town like Corbu, football at the high school was like a NFL game. All the parents wanted their sons to play, and all the girls wanted to date the boys in uniform. He trained for months before tryouts even began practicing. The girl he was “talking” to came to watch. His mom made a big deal dinner that night, homemade pizza. He didn’t make it past the second cut. The girl stopped talking to him the next day.

Self-Criticism

No one could ever want me. I’m so big now, girls don’t talk to me. Guys don’t talk to me because I’m not on the team. It’s like I don’t exist. 

The Employee

She came in one day late because she had fallen asleep studying between shifts. He had called and screamed out “Where the hell are you?!”. She had rushed over, extremely apologetic. He kept her there so late that night, insisting he had to make sure everything was right, like Sheila hadn’t been there for 3 years. No one could understand why he was always so mean. All he ever seemed to care about was what would make him look best to the boss.

Listening In

Overheard by Sheila while smoking around the corner: “You’re wrong damn it. I’ll NEVER be like him.”

First Criticism

His father had come home drunk , but it was the first time he had been awake to see it. He was 5 and earlier that day he’d drawn a picture of him on a bike with his mom. She had hung it on the fridge. From the doorway, he saw his dad grab the picture and scream at his mom, “Did you tell him he was getting a bike? The kid is stupid, he won’t know how to ride the damn bike”. 

The Bottle

He always came into work slow, like he’d been up all night. No one knew how. Sure, he’d grab a few from the bar after work, but no one really stayed with him until he started dating the bartender. They still left pretty quickly. But he was throwing up in the bathroom before noon 4 out of 5 days. It was Budweiser. And then Crown.

Endings

He came in hungover, more than usual, staying in the office as much as possible even during the lunch rush. The bartender spent the morning flirting with every man on the other side of the bar but she was too touchy, too loud. It wasn’t just for the tip. The rumor was she’d ended it with him a couple days ago and was sick of his drinking. He left work early and didn’t come in the next day. No one could get a hold of him. On Sunday, the owner of the restaurant found him on the floor beside his bed with an empty bottle of crown.

Irony

A handful of people came to the funeral. No one cried.

Just try to be happy!

This post won’t be very long, seeing as it’s almost 1 and I need to get some sleep. I’ve been at school all day, then came home and threw together some pasta for dinner, and straight back to homework. I wish I had got more writing done but the other subjects said no. So here I am.

I read this really good article today about things that people do that are both happy and successful. It was a pretty long article (50 things!) but I’ll link it to the bottom of the post in case any of you are interested in progressing yourself. Mostly, I wanted to tell you what I got from it.

Things for me haven’t been as easy breezy as I would like. Money has been a constant factor recently as well as just the combined stress of working and going to school, both full time. There isn’t a lot of time to have balance and sometimes the thing you think you need is actually the furthest thing from what you really need. I keep telling myself if only I had more time, but today I realized that I’m never going to get more time. We all have the same amount of time in our day, week, month, and year. We have the same amount of time as Einstein, Shakespeare, Mother Teresa, Aristotle, DaVinci, Cleopatra, and George Washington. Whoever it is you admire accomplished what they needed to with the exact same time that you did. We need to utilize our time, not fight it, stress over it, or wish it to be different.all-we-have-to-do-is-decide-what-to-do-with-the-time-that-is-given-us-lords-of-the-rings-quote-gandalf-jr-tolein

I am struggling with being content and I feel like I need to give myself time for me in order to be more at balance and just happier in general. So I took five things from the list and I will be implementing them from now until December starting tomorrow. Except the last one, that will have to start next week because I’m out of oil. I will update you occasionally and let you know how they are doing. I’m calling it my Happy Challenge.

Happy Challenge

  1. Blog AT LEAST every other day
  2. Meditate or Yoga DAILY (depending on time)
  3. Wake up AT LEAST 1 hour before leaving for work
  4. Take one tablespoon coconut oil DAILY
  5. Brain Dump before bed

 

All of these things except the brain dump (though that could be considered journaling) are found on the list and are further explained about their health benefits as well as psychological benefits. It seems like a lot but even if you can pick out 2 things on the list and try it out, I already feel like I’m reaping the benefits! And hey, its worth a shot right?

GO HERE

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/AXHuPk/:CHmvmVAG:mUTpp0FN/observer.com/2015/11/50-ways-happier-healthier-and-more-successful-people-live-on-their-own-terms

Avocados are life

Hey Everybody! Hope you are enjoying your weekend and this amazing weather! Unfortunately for me, I am completely swamped with schoolwork. I have two tests coming up, one Tuesday and one Wednesday, for Ocean and Society and Spanish. Not very fun. But It’s kinda nice to just stay inside and be focused on something for once. Most likely, I will get distracted and write more blog posts because it’s actually very stress-relieving. But before I get to studying, I wanted to tell you all about an easy summer dinner that would be perfect to make over the weekend. I made it on Thursday and it was the perfect thing after a long day of school.

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To make this meal even easier, I went ahead and boiled the eggs the night before. To get perfect eggs, simply place them in a pot with just enough water to cover them and bring it to a boil. Once boiling, cover them and turn off the heat, and let them stand for an additional 10 minutes. After that run them under cold water to make them easier to peel. I did this part the next day. In the morning, I took out my crockpot that my grandma gave me for my birthday (THANKS GRANDMA!) and put 5 chicken thighs inside after I coated it with coconut oil cooking spray. I then covered it with about half a bottle of Sweet Baby Rays BBQ sauce in the sweet and spicy and added about a 4th cup of Reds Hot Sauce to give it some kick. I put it on 8 hours and went to school.

 

When I got home, all I had to do was the corn and the deviled eggs. I’m going to assume you don’t need the recipe for those, it’s pretty self-explanatory. But I did make half the deviled eggs a little special by using avocado. I absolutely love avocados and try to incorporate them whenever I can. Here is what I did to make those.

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Ingredients
-1/2 Avocado
-4 eggs
-3 heaping teaspoons sour cream
-3 teaspoons goat cheese
-1/2 teaspoon yellow mustard
-3 strips bacon

Method
Fry bacon strips and set aside. Mash up the avocado with a spoon until a lightly chunky consistency. Scoop out yolks from eggs. Combine. Add sour cream,mustard, goat cheese, and salt and pepper to taste. Put mixture into quart size plastic bag and cut a hole in the corner to make a simple piping bag. Fill eggs and top with bacon bits.

That’s it! So simple and easy. I definitely recommend it when you wanna mix it up a little but still have something classic. Avocados are an amazing superfood that everyone should try and incorporate into their diet. They are full of antioxidants and vitamins, with absolutely no sodium or cholesterol. They have more potassium than bananas, tons of fiber and Vitamin B, and they have been shown to help prevent cancer and arthritis as well as making it easier for your body to absorb the nutrients in veggies. All that and they are absolutely delicious! You will be seeing lots of avocado in other things I make.

Well, that’s it for now. Gotta hit the books!

XoXo Lizzie

A day in the life

Yesterday was the first day that I actually felt like a normal person again, besides the lingering werewolf-esque cough and frequent trips to the bathroom to blow my nose. My boyfriend Jesse and I have been very, extremely, on-the-edge-of-death sick for the past week and a half. It has NOT been easy, let me tell you. We all know men are absolute babies when they are sick and on top of that, I was sick, so I was completely irrational and moody and clingy. But with some homemade chicken and sausage veggie soup (that he whipped up from scratch mind you), we finally got over the worst of it.

I went to school at 9:30am to my Oceans and Society class, which I am extremely enthused about. It’s fascinating. Like for example, yesterday I learned that there are as many molecules in 10 drops of water as there are STARS in the sky. How crazy is that? Needless to say, I don’t mind this class at all. The only frustrating part is having to go directly from there to work a double at work. The only way I can possibly make enough money for bills while juggling my school schedule is to work a double on Wednesday and Friday and then close Saturday night. My schedule is not fun. at all. But I’m dealing. Waiting tables is at least something that gives you a steady flow of cash that you don’t have to wait 2 weeks for.

Anyway, got off work at about 9:30pm…no break at all FYI, and then I went home to figure out what I could quickly make for dinner so I could get on the rest of my homework. A couple weeks ago, before the plague, I had found a recipe online for some Summer Veggie Freezer Packets, which I had made and stuck in the freezer. So I through those in the oven on 375 and made a boxed pasta salad to go with it.  This  https://onceamonthmeals.com/recipes/sausage-summer-vegetable-packets/   is the blog I got the veggie packet idea from. I changed it a little bit, adding in some garlic and red pepper flakes, because my boyfriend and I love a bit of kick. It says on the site that it yields 4…but I personally yielded 8 packs. I only made 2 last night and they were very filling and delicious with the pasta salad. It also doesn’t say anything about thawing it out, but I recommend thawing for at least 20 to 30 minutes because it takes twice as long to cook otherwise, and the carrots still felt a little tough.  Overall, great quick meal that let me continue to balance school and work, while maintaining a health conscious mind-frame.

 

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